Tik Tok on the Clock

Part of the reason I have settled at the club where I work now is that the DJ’s play music I like. Lots of upbeat urban stuff. But I’m still stuck with the occasional Top 40 hit that makes me wanna jump off a cliff like Kei$ha’s Tik Tok. Fortunately, the DJ’s shorten the songs so much, the bad ones (and my faves) don’t last the full play. When it comes to lap dances, that give me more control over when I decide I’m done with one. Another club I worked at played horrendously long extended dance mixes that pushed 7 to 8 minutes at times. I remember wanting to kill myself while giving a super skinny regular three prepaid dances where the songs went on for fucking ever. Time is money man! And lap dances should average 3-4 minutes, not 7+.

My absolute least favorite song is Bed Rock. It’s a tolerable tune until about minute 1:32 when some featured female artist has a verse. Her voice makes me shudder, especially at 1:56 when she drags out the word asbestos, hissing the second S a bit like a snake.

The other night, we were all getting ready in the dressing room, which has a speaker hooked up so girls don’t miss being summoned to the stage. The DJ threw on, of all things, the old school 90’s club jam, Rhythm of the Night by Corona, to which another stripper responded, “If this is the rhythm of the night, I’m going home.”

Of course, I can’t forget the signature song “Make it Rain” by Fat Joe ft. Lil’ Wayne. Guys get off on showering stacks of ones on you. I can’t say I’m totally cool with them getting amped to the lyrics “make it rain on dem hos” but this is the life I’ve chosen…. A stripper I am but a ho I ain’t!

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