While I was mellowing out before work tonight, Paid in Full by Erik B and Rakim came up on my ipod shuffle. As I listened to the following lyrics, it made me think about my current mentality toward working as a stripper and the fact I should be building a proper career.
But now I learned to earn cause I’m righteous
I feel great! so maybe I might just
Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive
Then maybe I’ll stay alive
A few of my friends who know I’m stripping are urging me not to sell myself short or continue running the risk of hurting my family. They don’t want me getting caught up in the heavier shit stripping can lead to. It’s a gateway job to escorting! After tonight, I’m reminded that getting jumped and safety issues are ever present. My aunt is nagging me about a Columbia University summer writing workshop she’s always wanted me to apply for and claims will open many doors for me career-wise.
Coincidentally, Paid in Full was playing at my club the day I went to apply as a bartender a few months ago. I remember thinking that the combination of good music, good lighting and a good sound system made the place desirable for me. The disastrous night I had tonight combined with various influences from friends and family both in the know about my stripping and not, have me thinking of my master plan. And my exit strategy…
As one friend said, “you should be using your brain not your body.” There are times at work that I’ve wanted to just bust out my notebook and write longhand because my mind is always racing with thoughts for this blog and beyond. As Rakim put it…
Feeling out of place, cause man do I miss a pen and a paper
I’m admittedly addicted to writing this blog. Due to various circumstances, I might need to take a break from stripping, but I have such a backlog of stories and situations to write about, I am not worried about hitting writer’s block too soon. The strip club that employs me is my fucking muse but I think that job may be vacant shortly. I’m about to hit the three month mark as a not-so-exotic girl next door dancer, so I guess it’s time to find another temp muse before I have to start offering benefits.