Archive for May, 2010

Can I Have a Baby by you Through a Surrogate and be a Millionaire?

May 20, 2010

This 50 Cent song always comes on at work.

I don’t want to have a baby by anyone, even if it would make me a millionaire. I’m scared of childbirth man.

There are plenty of girls at work with kids. A 23 year old Dominican has two kids already and the house mom had her first at 18. Another girl casually mentioned an abortion.

When customers ask me if I have kids, I at least get to tell the truth by saying no. But I tend to think “do I look like I’ve had kids?” I’ve put on more than a few pounds. Try almost two dozen, but I was too skinny before. So I tend to get self conscious if someone asks me about kids. Plus, why does a customer want to know?

By the way, I just watched that music video for the first time and noticed Kelly Rowland of Destiny’s Child as the main woman. Seriously? I know her career ain’t Beyonce’s, but does the have to resort to being a glorified video vixen without a verse in the song when she’s a singer?


Thinking of a Master Plan

May 20, 2010

While I was mellowing out before work tonight, Paid in Full by Erik B and Rakim came up on my ipod shuffle. As I listened to the following lyrics, it made me think about my current mentality toward working as a stripper and the fact I should be building a proper career.

But now I learned to earn cause I’m righteous

I feel great! so maybe I might just

Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive

Then maybe I’ll stay alive

A few of my friends who know I’m stripping are urging me not to sell myself short or continue running the risk of hurting my family. They don’t want me getting caught up in the heavier shit stripping can lead to. It’s a gateway job to escorting! After tonight, I’m reminded that getting jumped and safety issues are ever present. My aunt is nagging me about a Columbia University summer writing workshop she’s always wanted me to apply for and claims will open many doors for me career-wise.

Coincidentally, Paid in Full was playing at my club the day I went to apply as a bartender a few months ago. I remember thinking that the combination of good music, good lighting and a good sound system made the place desirable for me. The disastrous night I had tonight combined with various influences from friends and family both in the know about my stripping and not, have me thinking of my master plan. And my exit strategy…

As one friend said, “you should be using your brain not your body.” There are times at work that I’ve wanted to just bust out my notebook and write longhand because my mind is always racing with thoughts for this blog and beyond. As Rakim put it…

Feeling out of place, cause man do I miss a pen and a paper

I’m admittedly addicted to writing this blog. Due to various circumstances, I might need to take a break from stripping, but I have such a backlog of stories and situations to write about, I am not worried about hitting writer’s block too soon. The strip club that employs me is my fucking muse but I think that job may be vacant shortly. I’m about to hit the three month mark as a not-so-exotic girl next door dancer, so I guess it’s time to find another temp muse before I have to start offering benefits.

Oh What a Night(mare)

May 20, 2010

I suppose it’s ironic I blogged just yesterday about the strip club being surprisingly drama free. I just got home and feel the need to indulge in mild venting.

Today was very peaceful and relaxing. After having lunch with my father and sister and playing with my sister’s adorable new puppy, I went on some overdue errands. I treated myself to a bottle of my favorite perfume, Miss Dior Cherie, some snazzy jewelry and a $28 Dior lip gloss. Extravagant I know. But the one budget friendly purchase I made today was a $10 box of hair dye. I’ve been itching to go back from my natural color to red for a bit and finally went through with it the cheap way, instead of paying $80+ at Aveda or some other salon.

I went into work late since they are flexible about that and I wanted to show up a redhead. The house mom had a million gorgeous new dresses and I got a dark purple one, a color I’ve been meaning to add to my collection. I was feeling really pretty with my fancy rhinestone g string, new jewels and new dress, but there were almost no customers. Not even that one guy who will buy you a couple drinks and get 1-3 lap dances.

Out of boredom, I tried on even more dresses and because the other girls loved the second one I tried on, I bought that too and changed out of the purple one. I need to calm down with the purchases. I think I’m one to rely on feeling very confident and sexy in what I’m wearing to maximize my earning potential, but my little Russian BFF’s who I always hate on usually just wear the same 1-2 dresses. They don’t splurge they just use their body, which technically costs nothing like clothes (Russians tend to be less addicted to ass injections and various implants than the South American girls).

The night continued to go nowhere and I gave only one lap dance. At a certain point, I gave up and asked to leave early because I have a long day tomorrow (I should be sleeping instead of writing). The house mom said yes, but she was drunk because it was her Birthday. She had locked my bag of personal belongings in a locker with some of her supplies but didn’t have the combo. So I proceeded to wander around barefoot in my thong trying to find a bus boy to break the lock. After well over a half hour, I was getting frustrated bordering on heated. Instead of spending that last hour trying to hustle a little money, I was sitting around trying to get my trapped items.

I walked out the door with $12 after paying my usual fees, $10 for chicken fingers and making a $5 contribution to a gift for the house mom.

As I waited around almost buck naked for my bag, I watched several girls unravel. One recounted the fist fight she’d gotten into with a former dancer (I was in the dressing room when it happened). Another girl, who always seemed sweet and mellow, was freaking out on the phone with some guy, either a boyfriend or some dysfunctional role. She was screaming at him top volume and smacked the dressing room mirror hard after hanging up. When someone told her to calm down, she started focusing her negative energy on the bystander. “Don’t tell me what to do, it’s not you it’s him but don’t make it you cause you don’t wanna see that.” Then she mumbled something about going and stabbing him and whatever girl he was with. CHRIST.

Once I was finally dressed, I called a driver from a local car service who told me another night he dropped me home I can always get a free ride when I’m short on cash. I had told him that wouldn’t happen, but unfortunately I had to take him up on the offer tonight. He took awhile to get there, so as I waited upstairs by the exit for him to call me outside, I witnessed yet another shitstorm of a fight. The massage girl was carrying on to a guy lingering at his table in the VIP section. Something about him fucking with her son. Fuck knows. I just know that tensions and emotions were way too high all around tonight and the escalation of voices had me starting to worry about getting caught in some kind of violent crossfire. I was even glad to remember there’s a metal detector.

The driver helped calm me down on the way home just now. I told him it had been a nightmare shift and I was anxious to get home where my roommate’s fast asleep and there isn’t a peep for blocks. I apologized for my lack of cash and told him how appreciative myself and other dancers are for the role he plays in our getting home safely. We talked about his safety as well because he doesn’t have the barrier between front and back seats yellow cabs do.

Beyond my driver, I at least had a few laughs with one other dancer who doesn’t seem to let things get to her. She was going off on a hilarious tangent about instilling a stripper mentality in little kindergarten girls saying “Oh a boy wants your chocolate milk, he better pay you!”

I am not all that frustrated about the money I didn’t make tonight. You win some, you lose some. I’m booked with several day gigs and liquor promotions this weekend as well as dancing and I have plenty of work opportunities outside of stripping on my plate. I’m just annoyed I wasted time and energy not only for $12, but for a little too much emotional tweaking to handle before back to back 18 hour work days. I went into work today bursting with confidence looking great, smelling great, feeling great. Ready to go. What a bust tonight was!

Pole Dancing Gone Mainstream

May 19, 2010

You know how sometimes you’ll buy a cardio workout video and the second you put it in, you realize it’s far more appropriate for sedentary senior citizens who need to lose fifty pounds than a twenty something? I remember being amused at a Denise Austin video as she encouraged me to “keep going!” before my heart beat was elevated beyond the level of walking alongside my Gramma.

When I was bartending at a strip club and considering dancing, I looked into some pole dancing classes. Everyone knows it’s gone pretty mainstream thanks to celebs like Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria’s rave reviews. All that cheesy talk about how it’s “empowering.” In any case, like every other fitness class offered to spoiled housewives and perfectionist yuppie chicks in this city, pole dancing classes are way overpriced.

Too many class descriptions for pole dancing studios are pitching to the “everyday woman” (read, frumpy overweight housewife trying in vain to hold her man’s sexual interest). Other classes emphasize the fact a dance routine is choreographed while I’m looking strictly for new moves to mesh together organically. I don’t want to look like a sedated Britney Spears sleepwalking through her Circus tour. More amusing than her spaced out dancing is the fake lap dance she almost gives at the end of this video.

Sidenote: Breathe on Me is my favorite Britney song, very sexy. I like this remix with Madonna.

I once attended a class at Sheila Kelly Ex Factor, which is the pole dancing studio made famous by Teri Hatcher and others. They have studios in LA, here and elsewhere. I took the class after I’d started dancing and thought I could handle Level Two. It turned out to be far more difficult then I expected, but it was the only a la carte class I could take that Saturday. It set me back $45 for one hour and the studio tries to make you sign up for 8 week courses that cost a whopping $400. During the class, myself and another less advanced girl shared a pole and were practicing climbing up it along with a difficult move where you spin your body sideways between your arms (couldn’t find a visual). The studio was way too hot and the pole was too slippery. It was a pain in the ass to have to wipe it clean every time the other girl and I took turns as well. The one perk of the class is there were 2-3 girls in attendance training for a pole dance competition. They taught the instructor a move or two and were a treat to watch.

Since I don’t wanna shell out my hard-earned dry humping funds on classes, I try and practice on my club’s pole at the beginning of the night when there aren’t many customers to be embarrassed in front of should a blooper occur. Going on stage at the same time as a girl who is willing to help you learn or learning alongside you helps. The other day, I was doing a lot of climbing up the pole and finding fun ways to come down. I’m still scared to do any upside down stuff, but I’m getting there. I’m doing stuff more like this.

I’ve said it before, but pole dancing skills aren’t crucial to a stripper’s income. You might make extra singles from your stage tips, but lap dancing, which anyone can pick up easily, is where the money’s at. So is sucking cock in the champagne room but I don’t do that!

Many girls don’t bother with pole tricks because of the bruising. Right now I have nasty bruises between my thighs on my pale Irish skin. If I had a gyno appointment, the doctor would probably slip me a printout of domestic abuse hotlines. The other bad ones I have are on my knees and my ankles. When you climb up the pole you use your ankles to push yourself up and since I wear heels with straps, the bruising is even worse than it would be. Just today my sister, who is in the dark, noticed a bruise on my knee. Considering I am seeing family on the beach for Memorial Day, I’m going to have to give the pole a break if I want to rock a bikini without displaying the million bruises I’ll inevitably be asked about.

Heard in the Dressing Room

May 19, 2010

There’s a kind of bitchy Russian girl who chats away with the girls she’s deemed worthy of her approval and ignores the rest of us. I don’t bother her and she doesn’t bother me. The night before last, it occurred to me that I had never seen her back in the lap dance room. I told my friend “she must spend all her time sucking dick in the champagne room.” While many Russian strippers are tens, this girl is a chubby three or four. I think she’s a little older, maybe late twenties and I hear her talk about a son she has.

While the two of us aren’t chummy, I have spent plenty of time listening to her conversations in the dressing room as I apply fake eyelashes and bronzing lotion. Last night, the house mom was talking about how she saved money as a stripper (she just secured a house and has the down payment). The house mom was a bit discouraged to say goodbye to nearly all of her savings in one payment, but was pleased to make such a step. Home ownership is the American Dream however you get to it right? The Russian girl made a comment about “as long as you have a pussy, you’ll never go broke.” But she went on to explain how the maximizes the income her pussy brings in saying “I suck and I fuck.” Another girl made a comment two or three nights ago, “nobody gets my beautiful pussy unless they’re paying my bills.”

Last night was smooth sailing because I hung out with the same customer the whole time. When he wasn’t getting lap dances, he was buying me glasses of champagne that I make $10 a pop off of in drink commissions. He came in with these two very mobbed up type guys who are regulars and spenders. One of the Italian suit dudes introduced him as a “federal judge” who is handling “one of his cases.” (Ok then mafioso, is that the racketeering, extortion, tax evasion or Murder 1 case?) The attorney is a harmless Jewish guy from a family law firm, nice and white collar, which isn’t prevalent enough at my club. After an hour or so, he wanted to go to the champagne room. Since he wasn’t some dirtbag trying to rub my pussy without even asking first or flashing some cash, I knew going to the champagne room would be within the boundaries of what I’m comfortable doing. I got to name my own price ($250 for a half hour, it all went to me, no cut to the club) and I just sat on his lap and talked to him the whole time. He’s married. We made out a little. Blerg. I’m an instrument for other people’s hypocrisy.

I wish there were more customers like him. He just wanted a quieter more private place to talk and “spend time with a beautiful woman.” He wasn’t trying to get more for less like the broke-ass recession crowd we get plenty of. The only customer I’ve hooked up with outside of work met me during my first week as a stripper when I had no clue how to make money. He’s hot and we had a threesome with his girlfriend, but he doesn’t spend. By hooking up with him for free when I was new to the game, I set the wrong tone. Now he comes in and thinks he can spend jack $hit on me as if I’m still different from the other strippers when it comes to exploiting him for money.

I was glad I acknowledged him without wasting a lot of time at his table or worse, going home with him (for the third time!) I showed up at his table right before closing time when I was ready to call it a night after ignoring him for almost three hours. When I walked out the door in my civilian clothes, him and his friend were hanging around outside. Before they could catch my attention, I jumped right in a cab and waved bye out the window. The kid needs to learn he can’t get away with not spending on me anymore. I have $tripper $skills now!

Q&A With Guys: Pilot Episode

May 18, 2010

I’ve always thought of myself as one of those “guy girls” who prefers low maintenance male friends over catty drama queens. The girls at the strip club are surprisingly less dramatic than I expected and it’s not advisable to cry in the dressing room or carry on with sob stories. One girl’s dog had a steep vet bill and she was really upset and worried about making bank the night her dog got sick. Her good friend told her what I couldn’t say; to get it together and focus instead of giving off negative vibes and psyching everyone out. I went to private college with a lot of filthy rich girls who liked to invent drama where it didn’t in fact exist. Their lives were so easy they had to concoct situations to whine about.

Point is, due to having many male friends, I have numerous interview subjects to help me figure out how the male strip club customer thinks. Of course, no two customers are the same and differences in disposable income levels and attitudes toward strip clubs factor in. My good buddy agreed to offer some insight anonymously.

Q: When you go to a strip club, do you have a fixed amount of money you plan to spend or do you spend impulsively?

A: I typically spend impulsively. There are plenty of times I make a few too many ATM runs while in the club.

Q: So you are spontaneous when at the club instead of walking in with a mindset of “I’m getting two drinks and two lap dances?”

A: Absolutely. I sort of let the night take care of itself. I’ve gone in and spent very little and I’ve gone in and dropped several hundred. Every night is different.

Q: I notice some girls who are a bit overweight or less pretty still manage to make good money. Have you gotten dances from persistent girls you weren’t into?

A: Yes, I have. I certainly keep an eye out for girls I like more, but if I haven’t had a dance in a while and I’m fixed on staying at the club for a few hours, a persistent girl will win me over.

Q: I know you go to strip clubs with friends, but what about co-workers? I feel like in both cases, it must be awkward to be getting horny and even hard in front of the other guys.

A: I’ve never been with co-workers. I don’t feel to0 overexposed because there’s a sort of male understanding in place. You don’t stare at your buddy too long when he’s getting a dance and you’re not looking at him when you’re getting one. It’s sort of an unsp0ken code.

Q: I often blog about how girls turn tricks outside of work and I’ve heard of girls giving hand jobs in the middle of the entertainment floor when it’s busy enough. Have you been propositioned?

A: Not really. A girl who I went to a private room with indicated I could take my dick out once we got in there, but she didn’t ask for extra money beyond the champagne room fee I’d be paying anyway.

Q: Strip clubs always want to offer various “types,” as far as breast size, hair and skin color etc. Do you find yourself getting dances from girls who are different than the type you’d date in real life? Also, don’t let your white guilt hinder you from answering, but do you prefer white girls? I notice Manhattan clubs are very lacking in black girls.

A: I keep a pretty open mind at the strip club as far as type. I tend to date white brunettes, so I sometimes like getting a dance from a blonde girl or latina girl. As far as black girls, I’d say I tend to be more attracted to white, latina and asian girls…that’s just my taste, but I’ve had several dances from black girls.

Q: Do you ever get dances from strippers with gigantic fake breasts for the novelty of it?

A: I can’t say I have as a conscious decision. When it comes to fakes, there is a breaking point where they can be too big and I’m no longer interested.

Q: I know you like strip clubs, but many other guys complain about being teased without it leading to sex. What are your feelings on that?

A: Ha, I mean it does suck a little bit. I think when you KNOW it’s not leading to sex it’s different. I do have friends where it’s just not for them because of that, but it doesn’t stop me. I know I’m not going home with her. I’m not even trying.

Q: Do you have any friends who have hired escorts or prostitutes?

A: Not that I’m aware of.

Q: Clubs like a favorite of ours, Rick’s Cabaret don’t allow pole tricks while my club lets you go wild on the pole. To what extent do the theatrics of stage performance play in? What are your expectations as far as the entertainment aspect?

A: I don’t think the stage is a big deal, it’s just a way for a girl to get my attention and catch my eye. If she does fun moves it makes things fun and entertaining but it isn’t crucial. One example that impressed me was the girl at Hustler who climbs up a 2 story pole then slides down head first til she’s almost at the floor and stops just in time. Bottom line is a few extra twirls or tricks might get my attention, but it’s not a big deal for me.

Q: Can you describe a really bad or really good lap dance?

A: The worst is when the girl doesn’t even try to look like she’s having a good time. I’m not naive enough to think she really likes me but a like to suspend disbelief for a little bit. Further, you want contact. Some dancers focus too much on dancing in front of you but you want them to dance ON you.

Q: Would you mind describing any private room experiences you’ve had?

A: I had two, one pretty good the other bad. The good one was with an Asian who basically unzipped my fly and took my dick out within a couple minutes back there. It was mostly her just dry humping me but she allowed groping of her tits and ass. The other time, I had to ask the girl about private rooms which was a sign already she wasn’t in to it. Once we got in there, you could tell it was very business like for her. She allowed some touching but she basically just gave me a long lap dance. It was just paying a lot of money for an extended lap dance and extended tease.

Q: Lemme guess, she was Russian!

A: Ha yes. She was blonde, skinny, Russian.

Thank you so much to my buddy for offering his candid thoughts. Stay posted for further interviews with strip club customers. I want to keep a dose of testosterone in this blog, but I definitely want to interview bi and lesbian girls too. If anyone out there wants to volunteer, please let me know!


May 17, 2010

Since joining a lovely online community called Twenty Something Bloggers at, I’ve noticed an abundance of crappy giveaways on people’s pages. The not-so-coveted freebies are always exceedingly lame  and exploited in an effort to lure readers. Bloggers spam their links all over the place hoping people want something like Body Fantasy pharmacy perfume valued at $3.95 bad enough to read their stuff. I honestly saw that product harked through a giveaway, which coincidentally is the kind of stereotypical cheap stripper perfume poked fun at in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I may have shoplifted it in middle school and given it to a girlfriend from homeroom for Christmas, but I wouldn’t be caught dead with it now.

Anyway, I have a good giveaway. 2 free lap dances (with a bonus of blue balls) to whoever can identify the song in this YouTube pole dancing video. I want it bad. Yes, it’s ghetto and raunchy just the way I like. And hey, if you don’t live in NYC, I’ll hook fellow bloggers up with links and comments etc…

Eye Know You Want Me

May 17, 2010

The last few nights, I’ve been making pretty solid cash. My standards are admittedly lower than the top earners at my club and as I’ve lamented before, there are nights I don’t make enough to justify being a stripper. Still, I know I’m getting better and better at picking up on guys’ cues and sweet talking them into lap dances. I’m also getting better at reminding myself that guys have to PAY for my company, a concept I was not used to before. I am more secure in my ability to hustle and no longer waste more than 5-10 minutes making bullshit small talk unless a guy shows me the money.

One thing I am positive I have trouble with and am getting better at is being sure to make eye contact. I’ve always noticed how the Russians lock their big seductive eyes on guys and practically hypnotize them. As a seasoned lap dance instructor and former stripper in Vegas said, “I teach women how to get what they want without saying a word.” I’m a bright, but ADHD type of broad who got through school by talking the talk. I was always the girl who didn’t finish the reading assignment but bullshitted my way through class discussions, often taking the contrarian point of view. At a strip club, blabbing will only get you so far. It’s all about the body language and eye contact. Does that mean popping onto a stranger’s lap instead of just standing next to him like at a normal bar? Yes, it’s constant. But the difference a little body and eye contact makes is tremendous.


May 16, 2010

I shared in an earlier post “Abort Mission Escort” that I once ventured into the Adult Gigs section of Craigslist. Besides just barely stepping off the ledge from turning into a call girl, I also met a couple random guys who were seeking mutually beneficial arrangements with girls. One was this absolute WASP jerkoff whose last name was Baxter and kept touting “unemotional sex.” Well, when you are fucking someone with bad breath who is a 2 out of 10, it’s emotional for you. For him, it’s just no strings booty. I’ve had unemotional sex, just not with the likes of him.

I still can’t quite understand how people can treat sex like a transaction. I basically am only willing to have sex with people who genuinely turn me on. In the case of my too numerous one night stands, that means just banging someone who got me horny, in most cases while drunk. In other cases, it involves guys who are OK looking winning out on personality or growing on me over time (say 2-3 days instead of my 2 hour average).

I try and maintain some of my other work gigs in addition to stripping. One reason is it helps keep me grounded and feeling like a normal member of society. It also gives me an actual paper trail of work that makes me look nice and poor for my taxes and my various sliding scale fees at health care centers etc…without making me look like I’m fully under the table.

I often peruse the Craigslist Event Gigs section for short term promotion gigs, trade show jobs and more. I’ve booked plenty of great legitimate stuff through Craigslist, but I’ve noticed more and more adult type ads have penetrated that section. Is it because some downscale bachelor party booking company doesn’t even want to pay the $10 Craigslist charges for Adult Gigs ads? Possibly. Is it because they don’t want the legal requirements and ramifications outlined by Craigslist for adult ads that may not apply to “Event Gigs” ads? Very likely.

In any case, I found an ad just today seeking exotic dancers. As you all know, I’m reasonably comfortable with exotic dancing. Lesbian double ended dildo shows for at-home bachelor parties? Not so much. The ad reads:

Team Risque is seeking the finest Erotic Dancers who are open minded and ready to make serious ca$$$h. We cater to the Adult Entertainment Industry by Promoting our Risque Ladies with paid gigs such as: Gentleman Clubs, Private Parties, Mens Magazines, Adult Films, Internet/Webcam Modeling and much more…

The pay range is $300-$1500 according to the ad (that is probably bullshit, the ad by the Russian who transports me to do out of state erotic dancing claimed $600-$1200 per night when I really make about $150-$250). The giveaway that it is more erotic than just dancing is the wording “open-minded.” Call me a snob, but I have plenty of evidence to support that the more “open-minded” a girl is, the more skanky the client expectations are and the less classy the girls will be. I’m sure high end call girls do some freaky stuff with their clients, but things are far more discreet, as their clients (ahem Elliot Spitzer), have more to lose. Every story I’ve heard from people who attended at-home bachelor parties, going away to Iraq parties and the like have been of utter disgust and every story I’ve heard involved the hired girls being busted and trashy.

On a very random note, I have been thinking of becoming a red-head again. I used to dye my hair dark red and now it’s back to it’s natural but boring light brown. There are no red-heads at my club and I feel like dying it back would make me stand out. It also helps my play up my Irish and LiLo lookalike sides.

I am growing very fond of working with other bloggers. Last week, a fellow female blogger posted an interview with me and I was very pleased that her treatment of the subject didn’t involve any condescending or judgmental tones. Her website is called and the interview is at

I’m also going to be running a Q&A and guest blog gig with the authors of

They are two male bloggers who write candidly about sex and relationships; a rare breed!

Also, look forward to the regular book reviews I will be posting on a weekly-ish basis. The first few titles I plan to review are:

Miles from Nowhere – Nami Mun

Candy Girl – Diablo Cody

Secret Diary of a Call Girl – Belle du Jeur and

My Horizontal Life – Chelsea Handler

I would like to sprinkle in some books by male authors in the sex industry as well. If anybody has book recommendations for me, I’d love to hear them. Miles from Nowhere was suggested by a friend and it is about a Korean runaway from the Bronx who becomes involved in heroin, escorting and more. Another way to keep myself grounded would be joining a book club, but it would have to be an NC-17 rated one instead of your run of the mill wholesome book club for fat housewives.

I am about to watch the full program of a CNBC special investigating high end prostitution. It aired back in November of 2008.

Drugs are Bad…Mmmkay?

May 15, 2010

I keep hearing rumors about Russian strippers being literally slaves. I’m still naive enough not to know how some of these scandalous things work and I have no idea how much truth there is to the rumors. I also keep hearing that men involved in strip clubs and recruiting strippers like to get girls hooked on drugs so they will work like dogs to support the habit and put extra money in their pockets.

When I have nights off from my current club, I sometimes strip out of state. I was recruited by this Russian dude to do it and he charges a $50 transportation fee every night I work with him. That fee is sort of a bitch because obviously it cuts into my earnings, but the transportation also takes up tons of extra time on days I work at the other club. One Friday night, I was the only girl working with him. I knew that picking me up by 5pm and not getting home til 3am couldn’t just be earning him 50 bucks. I assume he does other business at the club we always go to, most likely selling drugs to their strippers, management staff, people who live in that area etc. Who knows. I just know a money minded Russian hustler doesn’t work 10+ hours per day for as little as $50.

A very common problem at strip clubs is that many “customers” come in under false pretenses; they are drug dealers who only come to the club in hopes of finding customers. Dealers tend to assume all us dancers are on some drug or another since we work late nights and they are a little too open about sharing what they have available (have there ever been Donnie Brasco-esque undercover strippers I wonder? It’s a great way to bust people, but I don’t know where you could hide a wire).

One particular dealer told me he had a customer who was a call girl who spent $300 per night buying heroin off him. He said “that escorting shit has to wear you down, mentally.” I told him I just drink and sometimes smoke weed, to which he responded “I don’t really sell weed, just crack, heroin and some pills.” Basically, just heavy shit I wouldn’t touch with a 4 story long stripper pole.

The guy kept making manipulative statements encouraging me to try heroin. I told him I had no interest. Once he gave up on talking me in to that, he told me how he flips cars the way other people flip houses. He kept asking if I had friends who wanted cars and I told him none of my friends in New York drive. He even had the audacity to a) say he needed a cosigner for something or another (with the excuse he has no credit or any kind of on the books financial records) and b) ask if he could store some of his drugs at my house because his “neighbors were starting to get suspicious.” Yeah, I’d LOVE to risk getting busted for a felony and spend years in jail, as well as become an addict because I have massive amounts of heroin under my roof. I’m sure my straight edged, sweetheart of a roommate who doesn’t even know I strip would LOVE to come home and find a SWAT team raiding our place.

The Russian who brings me out of state to strip plays mind games too. His bullshit is quite easy to see through, but it seems like he’s a seasoned pro at manipulating situations. You can develop a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome working for men as a stripper and the more I talk to girls who have been doing it for several years and seem very strung out and worn down (as well as underweight), the more I remember I shouldn’t stay in this biz for too long.

Something that annoys me a bit is that all the dodgy crap that goes on at strip clubs falls under the average person’s radar. There is such a strong taboo, I think strip club owners are able to take advantage. I’m certain drug dealing and many mob-related activities take place right under my nose. There are always random men in suits coming and talking to the managers behind the office doors. They are probably collecting some envelope stuffed with whatver cut of the club’s profits they demand. While there are certain lines I’ll reluctantly snort, there are others I refuse to cross, namely trying heroin.