Archive for June, 2010

Loose Lips Sink Strip(pers)

June 8, 2010

Sunday night, a couple guys were sitting at the bar just drinking water bottles. The talkative security guard was saying he thought they were cops.

My friend took one of the two for lap dances and right after she got out of the lap dance room she said “those white guys are cops!” She said the guy she danced for was asking about the VIP room and what they could do there. That girl doesn’t do sex in the VIP anyway (she’s a tall skinny model, not fat old and desperate like this other girl who always tries to talk guys into fucking downstairs).

I’ll be honest, for $500, guys fuck in my club. $200 goes to the club and $300 to the girl. It’s scandalous, yes, but it’s better than being a streetwalker with an abusive pimp kicking your ass. I’ve gone to the VIP room for non-fucking scenarios which basically means staying within my limits but negotiating a different amount of money.

When guys ask me about the VIP room, I have to gauge what to say to them. If they’re just broke losers, I pretend the room doesn’t exist. If they look like they have money, but have nobody to vouch for them, I’ll talk to the manager. If they are an established regular, it’s usually not an issue. Long story short, that room is straight up illegal. It’s not an obvious champagne room like at other strip clubs. It’s a room downstairs that most guys wouldn’t notice on the entertainment floor and would have to ask us about. You have to be careful who you talk to about it and what you say. I never bothered to think about cops and I think I’m less street smart than other strippers. I don’t have the cop radar others have grown used to.


Back in the Straddle

June 6, 2010

Finally worked tonight for the first time in 1 4/7 weeks. I was too exhausted to really hustle, so it was only okay. My mind wanted to make bank but my body wanted to be at home in a deep Ambien induced sleep.

When it comes to Friday and Saturday nights, quantity of customers doesn’t necessarily mean quality. I much prefer the more laid back businessmen who dominate on random Tuesdays than the 23 year old Bridge and Tunnel types who a) have no money and b) are young enough to get it for free.

One pet peeve I forgot about at my club is when cheap guys literally rain cocktail napkins. If it’s real money, fine, rain all you like. But if you’re just making a mess by killing trees, you’d be better off stealing the napkins and jacking off into them.

Some guys turn you off so much, you’ll turn down money. At least I will. I’ve approached certain men that smelled so gross, I couldn’t bear the thought of giving them lap dances. Today, I was running away to hide in the dressing room when a sleazy guy grabbed my arm. I took him for dances and a minute into it, he bit me. He got four dances total and he was grabbing my meaty bits too hard, scratching a bit. Plus he had major body odor. Of course the DJ decided to play long-ass extended dance mix songs during those dances and I was so eager to escape, I turned him down when he asked for one more.

Q&A With Guys Episode 2

June 3, 2010

A few weeks ago, I posted a Q&A with a single guy friend of mine who lives in NYC and frequents strip clubs. The goal was to start understanding how the strip club customer thinks without the pressures existing between customers and I inside the club when I’m working.

This week, my blogger friend Cole from the site Simon & Cole, offered his insights. Check out their posts about sex and relationships at

Q: You two are both attractive and young. What’s your opinion on having to pay to play when you can get it for free? Also, do you see your attitude toward strip clubs changing if you a) enter into a serious relationship or b) get married?

At a certain point in my life I thought paying for play was stupid and I was too awesome of a person to do it, or I was above it, or something like that.  Now I don’t really care so much from an ego standpoint.  One point of comparison is that I could easily ask a friend to give me a massage for free but I will pay a couple hundred bucks instead to get one from a professional.  With paying for sexual acts or lap dances or whatever the same idea applies.  Strippers are the best at turning you on because it’s their job, so yeah, we could get it for free but it’s harder to get the same no strings attached, professional service for free.  The only reason people freak out about it is because it’s sex related and sex is supposed to be so special, which it is, but it’s also what you personally want to make of it.

To be honest I’m hugely annoyed by most of the strip clubs I’ve been to.  I really like the Rhino in Vegas because it’s like a bar you can hang out in except all the girls are hot and in lingerie.  I don’t feel pressure to spend money unless I feel the girl deserved it; I really like clubs like that.  That being said, I would never be with a girl that would be pissed about me going to a strip club.  It’s just a novelty for me and it’s not a threat to her, and she should know that.

Q: Have you been to bachelor parties at strip clubs? Does the idea of having a bachelor party at a club seem unoriginal? Thought on having the party at club versus one of the at-home deals?

I like bachelor parties at strip clubs, but it can be unoriginal.  I guess it just depends on the people you are with and if they are making it a unique experience.  One of the most fun nights I’ve ever had was a friends (female) birthday party where her friends got us all a stripper to their house.  There were about 20 of us and a stripper and it was a shitload of fun.  So, I’m bias towards an at-home deal, but I wouldn’t mind being at a club as long as everyone was willing to spend money and just let go.

Q: Have you ever had girlfriends or even friends with benefits you brought to strip clubs? What are your thoughts on the role jealousy plays for girls?

I have never been to a club with a girlfriend or anyone that I am seeing. But, I don’t think anyone needs to be jealous.  I wouldn’t be jealous of her going to Thunder Down Under or something like that. I think it would be fun to go to a strip club together, but that could be because most of my girlfriends are bisexual.

Q: Do you consider going to a club cheating? Where do you draw the line?

I definitely don’t consider it cheating to go and get lap dances, but I do consider it cheating to go anywhere past that.  It’s just like outside of a strip club for me.  I would joke around with friends and get/give lap dances but I wouldn’t make out with them or get an HJ.

Q: You’ve been to Vegas strip clubs and I haven’t. Can you describe some things that distinguish those clubs? I’m curious about legal prostitution but I’m also curious about the impression that strippers there are at the upper echelon; all 10 out of 10’s lookswise and great performers/entertainers.

As I mentioned previously, the Vegas clubs are really amazing in their own layout and ambiance, but also the girls.  Those clubs get girls to fly in from other places, the best of the best, and I heard they even have to pay the club to dance there.  In my experience they are just better with the customers and hotter.  Prostitution isn’t actually legal in Vegas, just in the state of Nevada, outside the city limits, so it’s not like you can get a dance at the Rhino and then fuck — well technically, most of the time you could if you really wanted to pay.  I’ve found in regards to sexual acts, most places I’ve been subtly encourage it.

Q: What was your most erotic experience at a strip club?

The most erotic experience I have ever had at a strip club was on my 22nd birthday in Cabo, Mexico.  My friends all got together and paid the stripper a lot to show me a good time.  It wasn’t anything too crazy.  But, I did get two songs of lap dances and actually making out with the stripper and an HJ.

Also at the Rhino in Vegas I got a half hour lap dance in a private room and the girl was just insanely hot and was amazing at her “craft”.

Q: How do male customers like you feel about knowing you are being hustled by the strippers? What are some ways you have utilized to tell a girl you are not interested? The little “fuck off” hand wave or “fuck off” dollar tip? The alleged “I’m waiting on someone else?”

I find it hard to believe that anyone goes into a strip club with the idea that the girls are actually going to “like” you or that they aren’t just in it for the money.  On the other hand I’ve made a habit of asking the girls questions I actually want to know the answer to like if they are ever turned on or if they have had feelings for any of the guys or what happens behind the scenes — that way it’s both sexy and a learning experience on a psychological level which I find most interesting.

Q: Some guys seem to like sitting at the bar to watch the stage performances while other guys lay low and focus more on dances. Do you do both or sway one way?

I really don’t find the stage performances that interesting unless the girl is just an amazing pole dancer; in that case I could watch them clothed and be entertained.  I like getting dances when I’m hanging out with friends and drinking and they are also getting dances.  Then it’s actually almost as if we are all hanging out with a bunch of girls in lingerie, which is of course a dream come true.

Q: Are you seeking intimacy or entertainment when you go to a club? I think you said you weren’t big on the stage stuff. What makes a man crave a visit to a strip club?  How often do you go?

Personally, I really only crave entertainment.  If I was craving intimacy, and didn’t have a girlfriend, I would go out to a club and try to take a girl home, that way even if it’s a one night stand you can still make it enjoyable and more personal, especially considering both people are more on the same page.  I usually only go to strip clubs just to change it up because it’s a large departure from my everyday life and just a fun novelty.

Thanks for sharing your unique perspective Cole! It’s clear from your answers you have a distinct set of opinions toward the strip club experience.


June 2, 2010

I have always been a lucky girl. In high school, I got pulled off a wait list to transfer to a wonderful private school. Senior year at that school, I got pulled of the wait list to my first choice college on the last day before the deadline. In college, I managed an honors degree, using my bright albeit ADHD as fuck brain to bullshit my way through class discussions and term papers. I usually just took the contrarian point of view, which I genuinely believed in most times because I’m not a conformist by nature, and I’d earn the respect of my professors by calling them out instead of agreeing with them and acting like a yes man. Turns out being a feisty argumentative broad doesn’t translate well outside academia into the world of corporate America.

The real world has kicked my ass since graduation a few years ago and it’s kicking my ass right now. My manager at the strip club basically isn’t letting me work. I am not full-blown fired but I’m basically on reserve. I haven’t worked a shift since a week before yesterday, so my cash flow has been reduced from making $200-$600 or so at least 4-5 nights a week to making NOTHING. I have another gig working at Yankee Stadium, but that is far from steady and I’m not the first in pecking order for that either. It also doesn’t pay cash.

This morning, my crackberry mysteriously died. I’m praying it comes to because, it being the second of the month, it is not a good time for me to shell out hundreds on a new phone. Not having a phone is hindering the process of hustling new work gigs. That crackberry is my life line and even if I replace it, I’m going to lose the phone numbers of my house mom, my manager and all my regular customers, as well as other people who have employed me.

I had just started building some real momentum at the strip club. The first month of stripping, I was going home with a handful of singles every night. Over time, I got a little better and would make about $100 per night. Then I really got into the hustling groove and started making a minimum of $200 per night and up to $700. All of a sudden, I just don’t have income. I can’t just be on call for my job, the whole point was to work so much I had no time to spend. I’m kicking myself for getting on my manager’s bad side last week while the more forgiving house mom was out of town. I pleaded with her to get me some shifts, so I hope she advocates for me. If the club has me come in Saturday, I can make over half a month’s rent in just one night (hopefully) so I’m praying they bring me back soon.

There is no safety net as a stripper. You’re off the books. I hardly think they give workman’s comp to girls if they fall off the pole and hit their head.

I blogged a couple weeks ago about a Russian driver you would take me to strip out of state. Under my current underemployed circumstances, he would be my backup plan to continue some cash flow. However, he exposed himself as a threatening pimp type of guy, so I can no longer work with him.

You’re Talking a Lot, But You’re Not Saying Anything

June 1, 2010

I’m a talker. I’m no mute. In fact, I often blurt out too much and could afford to hold back. But sometimes my work life drives me to hole up and reserve specific times to NOT TALK. I get so chatted out it’s exhausting and I’ve heard not interacting with the customers is a big perk of being a go-go dancer instead of an exotic dancer. I feel lucky not to go home to a boyfriend or husband and kids that I have to entertain and take interest in. I have ample opportunity to mellow out quietly or take long walks alone.

Problem is, I do have the gift of gab. I’m better educated than the average stripper by far and have to use it to my advantage. Especially since I’m not exactly the youngest, freshest, leanest cut of meat available on the strip club market. I just escaped New York City for Memorial Day weekend on the beach and although I have a nasty sunburn on my back now, the hours I spent just relaxing and reading without chit chat were priceless. I lost weekend money by taking several days off work, but the job is so exhausting I need those breaks once every month or so.

I used to work at a horrible call center for $15 p/h where all us customer service reps had to yak nonstop and kiss high maintenance asses all day. Having to talk ad nauseum to people you don’t necessarily want to talk to is grueling and tedious. At least doing it at the strip club can yield some serious cash instead of some pitiful bonus if your Quality Assurance average is immortal enough.

I’ve had “just talking” in the VIP room scenarios at $100+ for a half hour to me and wish guys always had to pay to sit with us. Sure, they have to pay to play, but many of these lonely tightwads just want a pretty face to keep them company at the lowest price point. I’ve heard strip clubs in different locations have rooms for talking that guys have to pay for by the half hour. I’ve also heard that certain clubs have rules about not talking to a guy for over 2-3 minutes unless he gets a dance. I think that’s a great way to weed out the all the cheap bastards seeking free therapy and free girlfriend treatment, but of course some men feel more comfortable chatting for a few before getting their crotches dry humped.

When I get overwhelmed and want to chill, I have a few go-to songs. The Sound of Silence from The Graduate, Naive Melody by Talking Heads, Hometown Glory by Adele and Other Side of the Game by Erykah Badu. A little Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode never hurts either.