Q&A With Guys Episode 2

A few weeks ago, I posted a Q&A with a single guy friend of mine who lives in NYC and frequents strip clubs. The goal was to start understanding how the strip club customer thinks without the pressures existing between customers and I inside the club when I’m working.

This week, my blogger friend Cole from the site Simon & Cole, offered his insights. Check out their posts about sex and relationships at http://www.simonandcole.com/

Q: You two are both attractive and young. What’s your opinion on having to pay to play when you can get it for free? Also, do you see your attitude toward strip clubs changing if you a) enter into a serious relationship or b) get married?

At a certain point in my life I thought paying for play was stupid and I was too awesome of a person to do it, or I was above it, or something like that.  Now I don’t really care so much from an ego standpoint.  One point of comparison is that I could easily ask a friend to give me a massage for free but I will pay a couple hundred bucks instead to get one from a professional.  With paying for sexual acts or lap dances or whatever the same idea applies.  Strippers are the best at turning you on because it’s their job, so yeah, we could get it for free but it’s harder to get the same no strings attached, professional service for free.  The only reason people freak out about it is because it’s sex related and sex is supposed to be so special, which it is, but it’s also what you personally want to make of it.

To be honest I’m hugely annoyed by most of the strip clubs I’ve been to.  I really like the Rhino in Vegas because it’s like a bar you can hang out in except all the girls are hot and in lingerie.  I don’t feel pressure to spend money unless I feel the girl deserved it; I really like clubs like that.  That being said, I would never be with a girl that would be pissed about me going to a strip club.  It’s just a novelty for me and it’s not a threat to her, and she should know that.

Q: Have you been to bachelor parties at strip clubs? Does the idea of having a bachelor party at a club seem unoriginal? Thought on having the party at club versus one of the at-home deals?

I like bachelor parties at strip clubs, but it can be unoriginal.  I guess it just depends on the people you are with and if they are making it a unique experience.  One of the most fun nights I’ve ever had was a friends (female) birthday party where her friends got us all a stripper to their house.  There were about 20 of us and a stripper and it was a shitload of fun.  So, I’m bias towards an at-home deal, but I wouldn’t mind being at a club as long as everyone was willing to spend money and just let go.

Q: Have you ever had girlfriends or even friends with benefits you brought to strip clubs? What are your thoughts on the role jealousy plays for girls?

I have never been to a club with a girlfriend or anyone that I am seeing. But, I don’t think anyone needs to be jealous.  I wouldn’t be jealous of her going to Thunder Down Under or something like that. I think it would be fun to go to a strip club together, but that could be because most of my girlfriends are bisexual.

Q: Do you consider going to a club cheating? Where do you draw the line?

I definitely don’t consider it cheating to go and get lap dances, but I do consider it cheating to go anywhere past that.  It’s just like outside of a strip club for me.  I would joke around with friends and get/give lap dances but I wouldn’t make out with them or get an HJ.

Q: You’ve been to Vegas strip clubs and I haven’t. Can you describe some things that distinguish those clubs? I’m curious about legal prostitution but I’m also curious about the impression that strippers there are at the upper echelon; all 10 out of 10’s lookswise and great performers/entertainers.

As I mentioned previously, the Vegas clubs are really amazing in their own layout and ambiance, but also the girls.  Those clubs get girls to fly in from other places, the best of the best, and I heard they even have to pay the club to dance there.  In my experience they are just better with the customers and hotter.  Prostitution isn’t actually legal in Vegas, just in the state of Nevada, outside the city limits, so it’s not like you can get a dance at the Rhino and then fuck — well technically, most of the time you could if you really wanted to pay.  I’ve found in regards to sexual acts, most places I’ve been subtly encourage it.

Q: What was your most erotic experience at a strip club?

The most erotic experience I have ever had at a strip club was on my 22nd birthday in Cabo, Mexico.  My friends all got together and paid the stripper a lot to show me a good time.  It wasn’t anything too crazy.  But, I did get two songs of lap dances and actually making out with the stripper and an HJ.

Also at the Rhino in Vegas I got a half hour lap dance in a private room and the girl was just insanely hot and was amazing at her “craft”.

Q: How do male customers like you feel about knowing you are being hustled by the strippers? What are some ways you have utilized to tell a girl you are not interested? The little “fuck off” hand wave or “fuck off” dollar tip? The alleged “I’m waiting on someone else?”

I find it hard to believe that anyone goes into a strip club with the idea that the girls are actually going to “like” you or that they aren’t just in it for the money.  On the other hand I’ve made a habit of asking the girls questions I actually want to know the answer to like if they are ever turned on or if they have had feelings for any of the guys or what happens behind the scenes — that way it’s both sexy and a learning experience on a psychological level which I find most interesting.

Q: Some guys seem to like sitting at the bar to watch the stage performances while other guys lay low and focus more on dances. Do you do both or sway one way?

I really don’t find the stage performances that interesting unless the girl is just an amazing pole dancer; in that case I could watch them clothed and be entertained.  I like getting dances when I’m hanging out with friends and drinking and they are also getting dances.  Then it’s actually almost as if we are all hanging out with a bunch of girls in lingerie, which is of course a dream come true.

Q: Are you seeking intimacy or entertainment when you go to a club? I think you said you weren’t big on the stage stuff. What makes a man crave a visit to a strip club?  How often do you go?

Personally, I really only crave entertainment.  If I was craving intimacy, and didn’t have a girlfriend, I would go out to a club and try to take a girl home, that way even if it’s a one night stand you can still make it enjoyable and more personal, especially considering both people are more on the same page.  I usually only go to strip clubs just to change it up because it’s a large departure from my everyday life and just a fun novelty.

Thanks for sharing your unique perspective Cole! It’s clear from your answers you have a distinct set of opinions toward the strip club experience.

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5 Responses to “Q&A With Guys Episode 2”

  1. Sara Says:

    I always hate when people compare Thunder from Down Under to strip clubs. In my opinion, when a woman goes to Thunder From Down Under, it’s not sexual. It’s just funny and entertaining. I most definitely do not get turned on by watching men dance like that. To me, it just looks like a bunch of gay guys. The only reason I would go is for laughs. Strip clubs are all about being sexually turned on so there’s a huge, huge difference in those two things.

  2. mountingandcounting Says:

    I know what you mean Sara. I think of Chippendales et al as this guilty pleasure for fat-ass Hagen Dasz pint gorging housewives and spinsters, that’s just me! Plus, men go to strip clubs and can easily get off since most of their sexual equipment is external. Women aren’t gonna get off on lap dances while men can. I’ve definitely dry humped dudes to climax. Women aren’t gonna get off at a club.

  3. M. Says:

    ‘I most definitely do not get turned on by watching men dance like that. To me, it just looks like a bunch of gay guys.’

    So true. I hear there’s some male strippers here you can hire out to dress in orang-utan outfits and they strip. Definately want to be seeing that.

  4. M. Says:

    ‘I’ve definitely dry humped dudes to climax.’

    So have I. I really didn’t like it 😦

  5. Cole Says:

    @Sara

    I completely agree. I was kidding about the Thunder Part because that obviously isn’t the same while being serious about the jealousy issue. I feel it’s basically the same as real life — If your partner is the kind to bend the rules to cheat on you however possible then maybe you shouldn’t be thinking about strip clubs specifically but a bigger issue. Otherwise he will only enjoy from afar and in a more minor lap dancey way and there is no reason for jealousy.

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