Must Watch Movie….If Only For the Cliches…..

I recently mentioned how customers at Gallagher’s in Queens creeped me out when I’d introduce myself as “Bella.”

“Oh like Twilight, my daughter loves Bella!” hmmm….where does your daughter think you are right now, speaking of which?

I used that name briefly because the club had a “Melissa” and they weren’t down with the confusion having a “Marisa” would cause. Like it mattered so much, we had 1-2 stage sets all night, unlike Scandals where we had 15 minutes per hour at the same quarter hour each time.

There was a really sexy Salma Hayek lookalike at Private Eyes named Bella who LIVED in the champagne rooms; you never saw that chick on stage or even working the floor, lucky broad. I figured I could channel her aura by exporting the name to Queens. Didn’t go so well, though. I felt silly introducing myself that way. It doesn’t roll of the tongue like Belle, the French version.

Anyhow, I just stumbled on this random-ass movie I overlooked with James Gandolfini and the chick who plays Bella in Twilight, AS A STRIPPER. Whoa now. Why am I not hearing outrage from parents a la Miley Cyrus being in proximity to a stripper pole once and having some exposed skin on her thin back covered by longass hair?

So here is the summary of the movie, it’s painfully cliche, which is why I MUST watch it:

Welcome to the Rileys is an emotional journey that takes us through grief, self-reinvention and healing. The Rileys have been struggling in their marriage since losing their teenage daughter eight years prior. Once a happily married and loving couple, Lois (Melissa Leo) and Doug (James Gandolfini) have grown distant. Lois has become agoraphobic and won’t leave the house while Doug tries to stay away, finding their home depressing.

Looking to get away, Doug goes on a business trip to New Orleans. He meets Mallory (Kristen Stewart), a teenage runaway. Despite her unsettling demeanor, Doug immediately recognizes an innocence in Mallory. He realizes she is in desperate need of paternal guidance, something he has been longing to provide. The opportunity to care and protect Mallory supplants the void Doug’s marriage has left in his heart, and brings new meaning to his life. Doug decides to sell his business and stay in New Orleans to give Mallory the attention and help she can’t bring herself to ask for.

And here is a painfully awkward scene from the strip club. This actress doesn’t have me convinced, not sure she is mastering the transition from innocent teen angst to raw teen runaway willing to give BJ’s. Either way, the plot feeds the “savior” cliche to the max and operates on the assumption she needs saving while he needs to save.

For the record, clubs can be major ripoffs when it comes to not giving the dancer all the money earned in VIP, but $60 out of $250? Eek, that seems a TAD off from reality. Private Eyes gave only $200 on $600 per hour the guy paid, so a whopping 1/3, but more often than not, you got multiple champagne rooms or multiple hours with one guy. Scandals gave the girls the majority of $300/$500, but shit was not innocent and glorified there like it most definitely was at Private Eyes.

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One Response to “Must Watch Movie….If Only For the Cliches…..”

  1. Drea Says:

    My first night stripping, I choose the name Bella. It was a nickname bestoyed on me at the tender age of thirteen, when stripping was the furthest thing from my mind by a family friend and, as it happened, the only one that came to my doe eyed, naive mind the night I strapped on my first pair of platforms and walked out on stage with no consideration whatsoever to the fact that my two major attributes -pale skin and jet black hair -would ensure that I’d get razzed by more than a couple of patrons. I’m sure that, had I not been as nervous or felt as rushed I would have put two and two together and put a little more thought into my name. After having the pleasure of hearing every vampire inspired innuendo and being given shit for a lack of creativity, I changed clubs and names.

    Now known as Brandy, whenever a patron says ‘ooh, like the drink?!’, I take great pleasure in saying ‘No, like the drag queen, Brandy Alexander, who was my mothers choice for my godfather and my way of paying homage to my favorite childhood babysitter.’. Each time they laugh, I thank my Mom for living a colorful lifestyle, and suggesting the name when I came to her looking for help. I’m also thankful to ‘Brandy’ (brett)

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