I’m giving amateur night at the Golden Banana club another shot tonight. For those of y’all who don’t know, it’s off route 1, which runs North of Boston and is a priceless museum of tacky white trash shit. Whenever I come back from Europe and take Route 1, I feel like Furio in the Sopranos when he arrives in New Jersey after leaving beautiful Italy (though I will say, the one time I went to Naples, there was an excess of desperate furniture outlets and Madonna on the half shell lawn decor).
This is the Tobin Bridge that you must take to get up Route 1 from Boston. The view coming into the city at night is amazing and even if I lose amateur night and walk with 4 lap dances plus $30 in stage tip MINUS house fee like last time, the view will be worth it.
Tonight at Golden Banana will be my second time ever stripping full nudity. I hate that shit. It makes me feel so overexposed and vulnerable, plus my pussy’s a hot mess. Since starting my non-working scam laser removal (at SleekMedSpa I might add), I miss the smoothness of waxing.
If you want a good laugh, peep Kat’s review of an Oregon strip club’s “Vagina Beauty Pageant.”My pussy is in no shape to win that kinda gig. Don’t believe me? Peep my blood stained Agent Provocateur $150 panties.
Read more of Kat’s stories here, she got a Maxim shout-out as the smartest stripper blogger of the bunch and her writing is consistently hilarious.
I need to get my hustle on and drum up a little entourage for the Golden Banana tonight. Last time I announced I was doing it on my blog, I ended up with time wasters yakking my face off who not only didn’t spend much, but left before judging, which left me hearing crickets and losing the $300-$700 in prize money, as well as my ego.
Do you think dressing as Roller Girl or Ginger Spice will improve my chances of converting people whose votes haven’t been bought? It’s a long-standing dream of mine to work a good pole in roller skates, the added difficulty should win some people over.