Archive for January, 2012

Shit Guys Say to Strippers

January 25, 2012

Someone made the inevitable “Shit People Say to Strippers” video, but it left me unfulfilled. I’m starting a list to update later.

“If we go to the champagne room, what can we DO?”

“Go talk to my friend, he’s the one with all the money.”

“Do you get along with the other girls?”

“I’ll give you $500 to meet me after work.”

“You weren’t very friendly during that lap dance”


“Come back in 45 minutes, my direct deposit hits at 9:00.”

“I’m not used to clubs like this. The clubs are sooooo much more liberal in —–”

“No offense, but I’m here to see —–”

“So are you in school? You must have an exit strategy….”

“Do you know where I can find (fill-in-the-blank-drug)?”

“Lemme take you to dinner!”

“Let’s hang out when you get off.”

“I’m not really a strip club guy.”

“I’m not really a lap dance guy.”

“Why should I pay to be teased?”

“Do you do any work ‘on the side’?”

“Do you do any ‘freelance’ work?”

“Tell me your real name.”

“So, do you have kids?”

“You don’t belong here. You’re different than these other girls.”

“Are you interested in webcam modeling? Here’s my business card.”

“Are you interested in Heroin, you should try it!”

“My marriage is deteriorating, but it’s cause my wife —–.”

“You’re like my muse.”

“My friends dragged me here.”

“I can give you everything you want.” (PIMP ALERT!)

“We’re talking business, can you come back in a little bit?”

“So are you into girls?”

“Are you into swinger couples? We are.”


blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah.” (Tranlsation-“I’m lonely as fuck!.”)


The Cutting Room Floor

January 23, 2012

I’m a little upset I’ve permanently deleted a huge chunk of posts. I have my reasons, as I’m sure you can imagine. Privacy is now a myth and hiding behind a pseudonym is an illusion, rather delusion, of anonymity.

I’ve never minded saying the things others were afraid to. I’ve also never minded confessing my shortcomings and misdeeds, to the point people joke I should be Catholic. I always want to purge my emotional baggage, but like a bulimic’s coughed up lunch, once the purge is complete, flushing the evidence away is sometimes the best option.

I’m on an advocate kick and feeling very determined to speak up for misunderstood people from many walks of life, not just strippers and other sex workers. But how much am I willing to risk or sacrifice personally?

An alcoholic with an unspecified mental health disorder at my part time office job keeps nagging me about why I take interest in destigmatizing addiction and mental illness. He won’t just accept I have inclinations to call BS on the status quo, he’s trying to pry my personal story out and see just how close to home the causes are for me. As much as I want him to mind his business, I’m guilty of inviting his nosy behavior. He nonchalantly mentioned he doesn’t drink and I had to be the nosy investigative journalist type and ask why, which opened the floodgates of his over-sharing and interrogating.

This blog had a tragic comedy tone before and now I try and just keep it light. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing.


Almost Back in the Straddle Again

January 21, 2012

February 1, one-way flight to New Orleans. Two month 1 BR sublet in a great area at just $775/m including utilities. Bourbon St. beckons. If I want to stick around until Jazz Fest in late April/early May I’ll have to find another sublet, but either way I’m pumped to get the hell out of freezing cold New England for the rest of Winter.

I’m going to hit Babe’s Cabaret first since they are likely to welcome me back, but I’m also hoping to switch clubs or pull double duty. Barely Legal, Penthouse, Rick’s and Hustler are on my to-do list, but Scores is not, because I hear it sucks in New Orleans compared to New York. Last time, I noticed this one girl-on-girl show club that was downright depressing. They had a bed on the stage and all the girls were sitting there looking bored like it was a brothel lacking guys to choose from the line-up.

I worked at an on-again, off-again office job this week, and was amused when someone pointed out a secret “champagne room.” I think all the Veuve is left over from Christmas gifts; God forbid they gave the excess to us lowly part timers!

The Winter blues hit me like a brick this year, particularly around the Holidays, so the fact a long-term New Orleans getaway is on the horizon has really elevated my mood. I’ve been feeling pretty damn frisky and successfully seduced a guy from the office yesterday. We had good vibes and our eyes on each other from the get-go. The flirting was obvious and I knew it wouldn’t be the biggest challenge. But there was one slight obstacle….a girlfriend. I’m so used to cheating men, I couldn’t care less. I tried to impress him with my new pole and had a total blooper. Oops. Fail.

I played on my pole for a solid hour or two the other night and was sore the next day. I haven’t been working out enough lately and I’ve been eating junk, so I’m very eager to get back to dancing for hours on end and, once again, having a job where exercise is integrated, unlike the cubicle week I just had.

I feel like sharing the below video for a couple reasons: it’s very sexy, but super easy and safe, save for a couple shoulder mounts that would take practice for a newbie. There is a disconnect in the “pole fitness” world between the exercise aspect and the sexiness factor. The place I’ve been going is great, but they get too preoccupied with the acrobatics, and not the sexiness. On the other hand, different pole studios are downright silly with their boa feathers and frumpy hapless end users. I think it’s lame to teach lap dancing, but I admit I’m still too scared to pull the handstand flip over type of moves some girls do. Plus I think it’s tacky to flip over so your pussy’s in a guy’s face, that’s just asking to be violated….or tipped….or both.