I got fired for my weight June 19. The club was working out well for me and the timing sucked. I certainly hadn’t gained weight since they hired me and I’d been living mainly on low calorie Pret a Manger salads and club sodas in hopes of gradually losing and upgrading clubs after Labor Day.
It was a real bummer and another blow to my body image; a blow and a wake-up call. Giving up booze caused effortless weight gain last Fall, but living in New Orleans for three months made all 10 pounds creep back.
On one hand, stripping has boosted my body image and made me comfortable in my skin, regardless of weight fluctuations. The consistent validation has even enabled me not to address my present weight gain with urgency.
On the other hand, I’ve reached a crossroads where my size has genuinely jeopardized my income, even if a sizable chunk of customers say nice things about my body.
I’m trapped in a very short frame (5’2″) so even 2-3 pounds show.
Anyhow, that’s the straight story. I had the fortune of projectile vomiting and witnessing a shit-show girl fight my last night at the club, too, so there was excess negativity culminating all at once during my swan song.
The downside is a) losing cash income of $200+ per night 3-4x per week and b) not having the confidence or desire to strip until after the slow season, which will buy me time to tone up and slim down a bit.
The plus side is, I’m not in over my head financially as I used to be. I downgraded apartments, literally cutting my rent 2/3 and my total monthly expenses are only 1K. I can’t afford not to work at all, but I can take shitty temp jobs and work trade shows doing promo modeling crap like I did before stripping.
Come fall, I’ll want to unveil the new and improved me and try to work in Manhattan where a) the commute is far shorter and b) I can make serious champagne room money. I’m not thrilled to go from multiple thousands per week in cash to choppy, erratic “cash flow” in the form of checks that always go MIA in the mail. But I’ll survive.
It feels good to be a civilian for a while. It also feels good that I am no longer living above, or at the exact level of, my means, so I don’t feel trapped in the industry. I haven’t been posting, cause I have little to say, but I’ll try and update consistently during this lull. In the meantime, I’m happy to take a break from guys saying I’m not worth $300 for a half hour VIP, or asking me to excuse myself like I’m just part of their on-call harem to come and go as they desire.
At least I’m not under as much scrutiny as these ladies….