Douchiest Lines I’ve Gotten Pt I

“Eres tan fea. No me gustas.”


“Where’s (super-skinny colleague)?”

“She’s not here tonight.”

“Oh, well I prefer small girls; you’d crush me to death.”

(Above two both resulted in tossed drinks.)


“I’m good on a dance for now. I wanna check the inventory first.”


Customer assuming sex occurs in champagne room: “$300 for the VIP is soooo not worth it, can you do better?”


“They don’t show pussy on the stage? That’s some buuuul-sheeet.”


Various customers mulling over a second lap dance:

“I’ll buy another if you show me your pussy/slip your nip in my mouth.”

“What do I get for this one?”

“Weeell…’ve gotta sell me on it. Come on, convince me!”

“Oh, I thought that was just one dance.” (after I explicitly say time’s up on dance #1 4 minutes prior.)

“Oh, I thought those dances were just for fun.”


“A diet coke? I’m not paying $15 for your drink unless you get a real drink.”


“I’m going to Afghanistan in two days; what’ll $50 get me?” (this guy clearly expects “any-ting he wants” at today’s equivalent to $10 after accounting for inflation since the Vietnam War.)


Non-verbal, abrasive shooing motion before I’m within three feet; occured way too much a few shifts ago.


Non-verbal look of disdain at my presence before I can so much as say hi or introduce myself. Sometimes accompanied by looks between two guys, as if they’re catty high school girls.


Another pet peeve is customers having conversations about politics, literature and other highbrow topics between themselves, explicitly discluding me, let alone soliciting and appreciating my input.

I’m not updating enough lately! I’m back at it in New Orleans since a couple weeks and change ago. I had a two-night stand with a hot bachelor my first night back (yes you can judge me) and I’m nervous about election day.


3 Responses to “Douchiest Lines I’ve Gotten Pt I”

  1. developergolf / David Says:

    Unfortunately , most of these lines are just standard , are part of the Gig and should be ” water off a ducks back ” , andit really matters not how much you know about literature or World events . Dont waste your own emotional energy even typing this Stuff ..And its a numbers game , if a guy likes a skinnier girl ..Hes the customer , his choice .
    Certainly if we ahd dancers throwing drinks at a customer , that would be an instant lifetime ban ..plenty of dancers out there .

    There is an awesome ” How to .. ” on the Net there somewhere , which is one of the best pieces of writing I have ever read my dancer , great detail ..I printed it off here somewhere , but the way she works her room and the Clients is simply SENSATIONAL .
    Many will go for skinny girls ..Nothing wrong with that at all .

    Just workout how you will benefit YOUR business , dont just simply Bag the Client , learn to work it to your advantage .

    Good luck ( for you ) with the election , it will be close .. Your man has a few good ideas ( although as much as you all fight about it ) the health care bill does not go far enough . We have here in Australia the best healthcare system in the World , with all being covered .

    The free enterprise vote , swingers ..will tend in the opposite direction .

    Now go focus your Energies , on how you are going to improve your own performance and stop complaining about your clients , as this is the esense of Free enterprise .

  2. Mike Says:

    Bachelor as in “about to get married?”

    If so, boo.

  3. Patrick Bateman (@PatBatemanBlog) Says:

    Brilliant post. You’re going on the blogroll!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: