Strippers are Dorks, Too

It’s 3:45AM so this will require a sequel, but let’s be honest. Strippers have to use the same lines over and over again. Here are some of mine; TBC and feel free to share your own lame-ass sales pitches etc in the comments!

“Yes, my red hair is natural, I’m Irish!.”

“I know, you can TOTALLY tell I’m a NATURAL redhead cause my nipples are pink!” (Good call, genius…)

“Ok, well be sure to put me on your dance card for later.”

“Come show me some love at the stage! It’s my ‘tour of duty’/’deployment’ now.”

“I’m an equal opportunity dry humper! You, your friend, whoever….has money.”

“Ok, the bachelor should go first, then who is up for sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths?”

“I totally like it rough on my own time, but you can’t leave evidence on my pasty Irish skin!.”

“You need to take a leap of faith on that VIP room! Have faith in me.” (not giving you an HJ/BJ/FS etc)

“You’re totally about to start saying Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s aren’t you!?” (because my Madonna rosary knocks guys in the face during lap dances and invokes Catholic guilt.)

More to come, but I love exploiting whatever song is on for the lyrics: F.E.: So Hard by Rihanna, loves coming on when I’m doing VIP. It’s better be hard!


One Response to “Strippers are Dorks, Too”

  1. Sex Mahoney Says:

    I would like to hear two things: what you can get away with saying as a stripper, but nowhere else; and what things should you never say.

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